1/13/2002 06:23:38 PM|||D|||Jonah Smythe Rides Bike without Training Wheels
Sunday, January 13, 2002 6:23 PM

HUNTSVILLE, AL - Jonah Smythe, 5, of Huntsville, Alabama rode his bike without training wheels today. Sources close to the action watched mesmerized as the short statured daredevil rode his bike down the sidewalk in front of Mr. Phil's house for the first time without his mother, Wendy Smythe, 29, grasping the back of the seat.

What started as an afternoon of washing the family cars ended with the eldest Smythe offspring passing one of life's important milestones. Jonah, complaining that it was cold and that he was bored washing the cars, disappeared into the house. Wendy, recognizing the niceness of the weather and the slim chances of similar weather in the near future, coaxed him back outside to play. Jonah was then observed riding a couple of test loops around the local Smythe bikeriding circuit whereupon the reckless cyclist requested his mother remove the training wheels from his bike. After much back and forth to the toolbox to find the correct size wrench, the wheels were quickly set aside. Jonah, wearing a splashy new bike helmet provided by Santa, quickly mastered the bike including its brake. After a couple of minor mishaps with mailboxes and cable boxes he was off.

At the time of this writing, Jonah was unavailable for comment on the event as he went into the house and quickly fell asleep. His mother, the ravishing former rifle troup member of the Foley High School Marching Lions, "The Mighty band from Lion Land", appeared to be overjoyed with the affair. Jonah's father, 35, was playing on the internet and unavailable for comment.

Included in today's endeavor was a trip to Mark and Donna Rogers' house to show off Jonah's new found ability. Rumors of Blake Rogers, 3, riding the bike without training wheels spread through the small crowd watching the action. The day's action was curtailed by a chain incident that sent the bike to the garage for repairs.

On a tragic side note, Blake Rogers would later face heartache. Eager efforts to drive his new four wheeler ended in tragedy as he plunged into the crowd while manuevering the vehicle recklessly - slamming into a wagon containing Sam Smythe, the younger brother of Jonah. Sam, 2, standing in the wagon in violation of local ordinances, was knocked to its floor where he commenced wailing and quickly complained of a sore chin. No blood was spilled in the incident. Ms. Rogers was said to have immediately convened a court of inquiry, indicting, convicting and then sentencing the youngest member of the Rogers clan to a temporary loss of the four wheeler and an undetermined amount of time confined to his bed. No charges were brought against Sam who has since begun throwing up in earnest as a result of an oncoming illness.

Coming swiftly after his recent mastery of a Razor scooter, Jonah's family members await anxiously his next endeavor.

Putter, 9, dismissing the action as more "people junk", remained in the house and acted bored. Santa was unavailable for comment.

Based in Huntsville, Alabama, the Smythe family, established in 1992 and amended in 1996 and 1999, is obviously a not-for-profit organization.


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